Much to do about the dress

Hmm…what would I wear if my hubby were being sworn in as president of the most powerful country in the world. Dunno. Which is why I could care less that Michelle’s Isabel Toledo number received mixed reviews. Some have said that the gems were a bit much and the dress – tres Jackie O, methinks – is overdone as well. As I said, dunno what I’d don if I or my hubby were being sworn in as the 44th president but whatever I chose to wear, best believe it’d be over the top, overdone, sparkly, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. I mean given the historic/memorable factor thingy, could you blame me? 

 

And then there was this number for the inaugural ball or balls, 10 in total. Here’s a pic of the Obamas during their first dance. I’m on the prowl for more pictures, preferably of Michelle and her much-anticipated ball gown designed by 26-year-old Jason Wu, a former student of Project Runway fashion guru, Tim Gunn.

 

Working it?

I’m not sure what to make of this. On one hand, I’m thoroughly impressed.

On the other, I’m disturbed because after all this is a pubescent child working the runway like she’s done some living.

No denying that she’s a talent though. And if you’ve got it, you’ve got it. With the right guidance and hard work, she’ll burst onto the fashion runway scene with a kaboom.

I watched this video with my very conservative mother who said, “Oh, no she’s ready! She’s has the attitude of a fashion model.”

OK, Mama MJ. Clearly I’m more conservative. It’s the whole she’s-a-little-girl thing that’s got me trippin’ a smidge or maybe it’s the leotard. – MJ

Gotcha! Sorta. RiRi’s Stylist Revealed.

Holy Molly!

I’ve just learned the name of the stylist responsible for putting the Bajan Barbie in some of the most hideous get ups of 2007-2008.

According to People Magazine, the person responsible for dressing Rihanna like a human parrot is Lyse Cooper. I did a quick Google search to see if I could dig up Cooper’s picture. Alas! I came up with zilch.  And so, this Cooper person remains faceless and in my book, unaccountable.

However, to support my assumption that said stylist was totally thinking of adjectives like tricolor, bright, feathery, and bacchanal, hear what Cooper told People about RiRi’s style.

And. I. Quote.

“She’s able to bring an island feel to her style but she’s very Grace Jones in the 80’s: avant-garde and fun.”

The key words here are “island feel”.  I won’t touch the Grace Jones mention. This Lyse Cooper is totally dressing RiRi in heaps of plumage and glitter and unsightly thigh-high gladiator boots and, oh yeah, more plumage because Cooper thinks it’s complementary to the singer’s Caribbean heritage. Oh, the agony! Oh, the stereotypes!

But in a strange twist of how-the-heck-did-that-happen, RiRi made People’s top 10 best dressed list for 2008.

Yeah, rigggggggggggght.

I’m unconvinced. I’ll take it a step further and say that RiRi landing on the best dressed list was a political move.  Straight up! I’ve been inside newsrooms and magazine offices before. I know what’s really hood.

These media types are not blind. They see what I see, which is a pretty girl dressed in far too many bird feathers. They also see a gal who takes great cover pics and who recently nabbed a deal with Gucci. What’s that? Did someone say cha-ching? Does plastering this pop star’s adorable face on magazine covers not move circulation? See where I’m going with this? Get my drift?

In related news, RiRi plans to start her clothing line as soon as next year.  I can only hope it doesn’t flop like the House of Dereon started by uber idol, Beyonce, and mama Tina Knowles. Speaking of, the word Dereon brings to mind the word derriere, which is a funky thought. Doncha think? – MJ

Rihanna looking picture perfect.

RiRi looking f-ing crazzzzzzzzzzzy

Emmy as in award

There are a gazillion ways I can spend a quaint evening home. One way is to plop down on my denim couch with a glass of wine in hand while watching the red carpet taping of any major award show.  And so this past weekend I tuned in to the Emmy’s. Take a gander at the gowns I thought were fan-tab-u-lous because of their vibrant hues, fluttery fabrics, and cuts. And don’t be shy. Feel free to comment whether you agree with these picks or not.

Brooke Shields in Badgley Mischka

I’ve loved Christina Applegate ever since she played dimwit Kelly on “Married with Children.” She’s so cute and spunky, and I really love her in this dress.  Ooh…it shimmers.

Christina Applegate in Reem Acra

Chandra Wilson is doctor don da da on Grey’s Anatomy.  Her acting commands attention and her character doesn’t F around.  Chandra’s a petite, curvy gal who knows what works for her body type.  Kudos and a handful of Tootsie Rolls (you know, like candy found in a doctor’s office), Chandra, for pulling off this ensemble.

Chandra Wilson in Tadashi Shoji

Heidi Klum struts her stuff in this glimmering Giorgio Armani Prive.  You definitely need some height to rock this. It’s polarizing, I’m aware. But it’s Heidi and I really like her. When I really like someone I see more of the good than the bad so I’m giving her the green light.

Heidi Klum in Giorgio Armani Prive

Last year, I nabbed a pair of strappy yellow BCBG shoes at a discounted price. I was gleeful as hell. This year I added  to my collection of leathery yellow things a vintage leather Kenneth Cole tote and a clutch of the same hue made by Donald J. Pliner. I told close girl pals (because they’re the only ones who’d tolerate prattling on such trivial matters) that yellow is the new black. To support my fashion theory, I present to you Mariska Hargitay in this sizzling Carolina Herrera gown.  Grrr…sassy!

Mariska Hargitay in Carolina Herrera

The exposure in this shot is a tad high, making Mariska’s hot number look blinding – you know, kinda like staring straight into the sun.  But I really want you to see the full shot because this dress is so fan-tab.

Mariska Hargitay

I think Ellen Pompeo’s character Dr. Meredith Grey should be written into a season-long coma so that the scene-stealing Sandra Oh could get more face time. We could all breathe a sigh of relief as Grey’s whining and aimless analysis about whether she should commit to McDreamy would be muted for at least a while. 

Sandra Oh in Oscar de la Renta

And lastly, it’s Ms. America a.k.a Wilhelmina a.k.a the diva, Vanessa Williams, in a Kevin Hall gown. I got a chance to see a runway show earlier this year that featured Kevin Hall designs. I really liked what I saw – lots of floor-length gowns emblazoned with bold prints. – MJ

Vanessa Williams in Kevin Hall

 

 

 

Rihanna, ana, ana, eh, eh, eh

I like RiRi. I really do.  She’s adorable. Has a distinctive nasal sound. Snappy songs. Rocks super cute haircuts.

However, I must jump on the bandwagon when it comes to lamenting over Rihanna’s poor sense of fashion.

The costumes! Um…I mean the outfits.  So many of the outfits are WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. I’d like to add one more wrong for emphasis. WRONG!

Let’s not forget the one too many color schemes – all at once. She’s like a walking pair of Travel Fox shoes. (Ew…the sins committed back in the days. May we leave those icky shoes in the abyss of our closets along with the overly funky Cross Colors jeans.)

I’m going to blame RiRi’s stylist for the repeated red carpet offenses.

I suspect RiRi’s stylist is trying to play up her Caribbean roots by dressing her in lots, and I mean LOTS, of plumage and ruffles.

If my suspicions are correct then I’d like to make a plea to RiRi’s faceless stylist. Please unknown Rihanna stylist, stop putting RiRi in these outfits.

Yes, we Caribbean folks are a lively bunch. Sure, we have a knack for producing rhythmic tunes, beautiful works of art, and whipping up zesty culinary meals.

Sure, we’ve contributed pages and pages of great writing to the literary world, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

And yes, YES, dear sweet iced tea and all that’s right in the world, there is the donning of colorful costumes (often with lots of plumage). But those garments are never to be worn any time other than bacchanal time.

That’s right, unknown stylist responsible for getting RiRi on the worst dressed list like a lot, such festive attire should never find its way on the red carpet. Ever!

Here’s RiRi in a get up that makes her look like she’s part of a cult located at a remote site in Texas or California, or perhaps waiting to be beamed up onto the Star Trek Enterprise.

I’m 98 percent certain this is an experimental design. There can be no other explanation for this smock.

Moving along…

I get cold fairly easily, you know like when the air conditioner in the office is cranked up to Arctic levels. To get my blood flowing again, I throw on an old sweater that hangs on the back of my office chair.  It has fuzzy balls on it from one too many cycles in the washer.  I’d love to replace it with this:

Ooh, ooh! I love a well-fitted cocktail dress.  What girl doesn’t?

But if I saw this on the dress rack at the department store, I would leave this interesting number like right there – on the rack.

Hmm…where shall I begin?

There are too many conflicting shapes, which for some odd reason, invokes memories of my preschool days. The vertical sparkly bow thingy looks like there could be a wardrobe malfunction at RiRi’s slightest attempt to wave “hello” to uber idol, Beyonce.

The front of the dress also goes against one of my golden fashion rules. I strongly believe bows should be used to decorate peep-toe pumps or a little girl’s hair, but never to cover the boobies. That’s what bras are for.

My fashion rule No. 2: Never channel your inner Looney Tunes character as RiRi does in the photo below.  Yup, it’s the vixen version of Pepe Le Pew.

Do not match hair color (not even a track of glued on weave as seen here) to the color of your shoes.  That’s like so back in days when Shabba Ranks sang Mr. Loverman.  Doing so comes off as looking forced. Fashion isn’t about forcing a look. Fashion is expressing a look.  – MJ