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Posts Tagged ‘Dating’

Chronicle of Nina Sky: A Caribbean gal’s dating tales in South Florida.

In Bahamas, Barbados, Caribbean American interest, Caribbean interest, Caribbean news, Dominican Republic, Grenada, Haiti, Jamaica, Relationships, Trinidad on February 26, 2009 at 2:58 am

Whatever happened to Pouchon? 

 

The Dating Chronicles of Nina Sky All characters chronicled are completely fictional (not really). Any resemblance to actual people you know is strictly coincidental! (Then again, I might be talking about you). 

I’m about to nickname myself unlucky in love cause every man I meet has nothing I need and everything I don’t want like a wife, kids (with an attached mother, or the lack of a job).

What is this new trend of jobless men who think they can push up on a precious jewel such as myself? Just because I am over thirty (33 if you’re wondering) it doesn’t mean that I am desperate.

I’m not just going to allow any old boob to get at me. I want what I want and if I can’t have it, Jesus and I will have a long serious talk. What I have realized in my 33 years of living is that I have a “type”. I’m still discovering myself. Isn’t that amazing? Well here’s the type of man that will have me giving him a second, third or fourth look. I love teddy bear men. All skinny men need not apply.

I love men who are super thick and squeezable like “Charmin”. He must be taller than me, at least 6’1 and above. I prefer his complexion to be caramel, mocha, or cappuccino-colored (although this is not super important, it’s still a preference). I love bald men (especially because black men in my age range are already losing their hair. Why not go bald my friend? It’s sexy! If they haven’t lost their hair yet, then I love a man with well-kept dreads. I also love facial hair. Not the Santa Claus beard but a nice ‘goatee’ or a Rick Ross type beard.

I prefer him to be at least 2 years older than me. (This is negotiable as well but grandpas need not apply and if you can be my son, stay away!) I do not have the desire to be a “cougar” to any cub and I definitely don’t want to be labeled your “MILF” either!

Last time we spoke I told you about a couple jokers that I met. No one promising right? We’ll this time I have a whole slew of jokers that I’d like to talk about. Let’s see. Oh, “Pouchon”. The last time I told you about him we were supposed to meet right? I met him through a mutual friend and we talked on the phone. He said he was coming to the state where I live and we’d hook up. He told me he had a plane ticket and we spoke the day before his departure.

The next day when he should have been in my state, I heard nothing. Well I called him and no response. I called him later on that day and still nothing. I thought that was weird. Later on that night I received a text asking me, “Who is this?” My first thought was ‘Uh oh’ he has a wife or girlfriend or something who found his phone and the text we had been sending each other back and forth. I text back something to the effect of, “If you don’t know who this is then apparently you don’t need to know.” The response from obscure person: “This is his brother and he’s been in an accident”.

Turns out Pouchon was OK but in the hospital though I was unable to get the name of the hospital where he supposedly was admitted from his obscure brother. I was so torn because I felt a little responsible because Pouchon was en route to see me before the supposed accident that led him to the hospital instead. Then I thought maybe he was a mass murderer and God stopped him from coming to chop me up into a million pieces and putting me into his suitcase. LOL! So after we (myself and the obscure brother that is) texted each other, obscure brother called me and that’s when things took a real weird turn. Pouchon’s “brother”, who I didn’t know existed until that day, sounded exactly like Pouchon. He even texted like Pouchon (misspelling the same exact words) He also said some of the same things like Pouchon.

To make a long story short, he told me that his brother told him about me and that he liked me and saw my picture and wanted to date me also. I was like WTF is going on? I just told him to tell Pouchon to call me when he felt better and hung up on that joker. Well a week later the real Pouchon called me and told me his “brother” had his phone and he was really in the hospital and a whole bunch of other crap that I don’t remember or care about. We still text from time to time but he has nothing to say to me so I just text him back when he ask me the same questions over and over How are you? Fine. How was your day? Good.

End. Of. Convo. 

– Nina Sky

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To be or not be…with a Caribbean beau that is.

In Caribbean American interest, Caribbean interest, Personal, Relationships on November 30, 2008 at 2:00 am
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Island fare: Jerked salmon, macaroni pie, rice and peas and salad

“Can you do it? I can’t. I can’t date a black American guy,” one of my friends proclaimed in between bites of a cheeseburger she ordered from a burger dive in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood.

It wasn’t the first time I heard this sort of admission but for some reason, it stuck. Perhaps it’s because my friend’s parents are by way of Jamaica and the South, and it surprised me to hear her share such sentiments.

Perhaps it stuck because it suddenly dawned on me that this sentiment was repetitive. I’d heard it expressed in various circles quite often. 

My friend explained that she preferred to date Caribbean guys because they possess a certain je ne sais quoi. My cousin, in a separate conversation on the same topic, described that mysterious something as oomph.

“Black American guys seem to be one dimensional,” my cousin said. “Caribbean men have sex appeal, swagger. There’s something about the way they walk and talk. There’s an extra layer to Caribbean brothas. ”

I’m conflicted. On one hand, I understand such sentiments though to a lesser degree. I love Caribbean men. How can I not when my father and uncles are from the West Indies.

Caribbean men do possess an indiosyncratic quality that I think lies between the accented speech and seemingly innate confidence. 

The fact that these men tinged with mellifluous accents come from a region steep in African (albeit colonize) history make them interesting, intriguing, even exquisite. But there’s something equally beautiful, though in a different way, about American brothas, particularly those from the South. 

I’m not talking about grimy Lil’ Wayne and those of his ilk. I’m referring to the genteel bunch with degrees from Morehouse, ecetera. I’m talking about the ones who believe in God and family and love. Ah, yes, mm, mm…those Southern brothas. Those Southern brothas who love their mamas and think women should be given the utmost respect. 

I’ve never exclusively sought to date one kind of black man over another based on origin. That type of thinking strikes me as borderline jingoistic, not to mention a tad parochial.

Given the dearth of available bachelors on the market, I also don’t think black women can afford to be that picky. We’re already particular. 

I’m opting for a man who believes in love, family, and commitment. Origin is secondary. – MJ

Chronicle of Nina Sky: A Caribbean gal’s dating tales in South Florida.

In Caribbean American interest, Caribbean interest, Personal, Relationships on November 14, 2008 at 8:39 pm

*Major disclaimer, guys: Characters in this series are fictional, er, not really. Any resemblance to actual people you know is strictly coincidental! Hmm…then again, I might be talking about you.* 

First of all, let me begin with a shout out: “Big up to my Haitian massive!”

Now that I’ve gotten that pleasantry out of the way, let me follow with a caveat: I have nothing against my people. But I’ll never, ever, willingly date a Haitian man EVER again. 

I speak from experience. My last three boyfriends were bona fide Haitians, – straight from the island. You may think that sounds pretty pejorative, right? Wrong! I have what I feel are good reasons I’ve given up on dating Haitian men. 

  • They’re aggressive: At times they are very affectionate, which can be a good thing, right? Well, don’t speak too fast. Probably, when you’re dating them, this might be viewed as a plus but it when you’re ambling on the street and one grabs you to tell you that you’re beautiful then ask that you call them later, that’s beyond over confidence. I mean does that line really work out of the year 1985? 
  • They are extremely possessive: Jealousy is not an endearing quality in anyone. It’s especially daunting when you can’t exchange pleasantries with the mailman because your man thinks said mailman – innocently conducting on his neighborhood delivery route – is gawking you. 
  • They love you too quickly: Haitian men profess love in the first week of meeting you. Every one of my ex-boyfriends told me they loved me within a short time span. The crazy thing is they actually meant it. When they fall for you, they fall hard. They expect too much, too fast, too soon. They start talking marriage way too early in the relationship. Case in point, I met this guy recently. We’ll call him Pouchon (sounds like Pooh Shown). Well, I met Pouchon a little over three months ago. As to be expected, he told me that he loved me and wanted to marry me because he’s not getting any younger and neither am  I. What was I waiting for, he wanted to know? I was like “whoa, dude! I barely know you and you want to marry me.” Then he starts talking about wanting to move to the state where I live cause all his brothers and sisters are married and he wants to get married too. Priceless! 
  • After they have you in their clutches, they cheat: I’m talking more so marriage than the courtship part. After being married to their wives for a bit, they decide that it’s time to get some new booty. I don’t know this from personal experiences – at least I don’t think any of my Haitian boyfriends cheated. But, I do know that my father did, my uncles (notice plural) did, and my brother-in-laws also followed suit. My friends’ Haitian husbands also dabble in adultery, and if you’re married to a Haitian man, he’s doing it too. It’s a rite of passage ladies and I want no part of it. 

Now, please don’t misunderstand me. I LOVE all my Caribbean brothers especially my Haitian brothers. I just don’t want to date them. I’m an equal opportunity dater but I strongly prefer men who are Caribbean. Those from St. Lucia, Martinique, Guadalupe, Bahamas, etc., are so sexy and my choice du jour. – Nina Sky